The New Man

        You see him from across the room and WOW does he look good.  There is that instant attraction.  He slowly approaches and smiles as he starts off the conversation.  He's sweet but thank goodness not too cheesy.  A little cheesy is okay, there has to be a sense of humor after all.  Things look promising and he asks for that exciting yet terrifying first date.        It's great at first.  So why does it always seem scary with the new man then? You want to trust that this time it will be different yet you always fear the same actions.  You start hoping for the things in common and looking for the right answers to your questions.  But then what happens the first time he does something the ex did?  My ex was a horrible drunk and very emotionally and verbally abusive.  Not everyone is this way but it's now the first thing I think of when I am asked "You mind if I have a beer?"  No one wants to ask on the first date, "By the way you're not an alcoholic or an abuser right?"  It becomes in ground in us to have that oh no reaction.  Everyone has probably used the term "don't treat me like your ex" but it's the first thing we are proned to do to him.  How do we get past that?  We have to learn to take the time to find out who he is instead of being afraid of seeing the ex everytime you look at him.
      We can all look at a man and at least know if he isn't the one, but how do you know if he is the one or if he's at least worth taking the time to find out?  Let's say you take the risk and believe he is worth it.  Now you are faced with the fear of does he feel the same way about you.  Let's face it, guys worry about us being their ex just as much as we do. 
       We spend our first so many weeks walking on eggshells trying not to do something that will run him off.  But why, when we want him to love us for who we are.  We worry that being too slow or too fast will have him doing an about face in the other direction.  I have come to the conclusion that  I want someone who can look at me and know that I am enough to take the time to invest in.  I am not willing to pretend to be something I am not or to act like I don't care when I do.  If I like a man I am going to tell him.  I love you shouldn't be something a real man runs from.  It should make him feel wonderful and well, loved.  You don't have to be in love with someone to love them.  You just have to care about them.  It doesn't mean I want to go marry you tomorrow just that you genuinely make me happy.
      So here's to the next man that gets to go from the new man to my man. Let us hope you aren't like the ex's and that you are as wonderful as we hope you are.